Right now

So like, right at this moment I should be studying like there was no tomorrow for the finals that are next week. However, I am sitting here and doing the exact opposite - procrastinating and doing anything but studying. It is not the fact that I can't study, it is that I do not want to study. I feel like this semester has gone down hill. My marks are no where near where I want them to be. I have almost failed every chem exam, but I managed to pull it off. What the fuck is wrong with me? I hate eveyrthing that I have learned towards this point. I am trying hard to be optimistic, but it is so damn hard. It really is. Let's take for example, chemistry, I went to his lecture every day listened to him telling me all the bullshit I mostly know. And yet, I refused to do the homework because he gave so much and I didnt feel that I learned shit from it. His midterms are were amazingly hard because they did not reflect anything he learned. He taught the basicics but then tested on how well we apply the skill. Well, what the fuck? I know this shit but I still fail. Next we have biology, it is so fucking boring. It is so fucking boring beyond anything. We only had 1 midterm, which I failed. I am freaking out about biology but I am doing shit all. I am feeling good about philosophy and psychology because I've learned a shitload from those 2 classes. Math - I should do some homework before the final.

Overall, I dont feel like studying because of my marks. But I guess there is only one person to blaim, that is me. I did not put up my work that was necessary of me.

I NEED TO START WORKING MORE PRODUCTIVELY.
I NEED TO BEGIN MANAGING MY FUCKING TIME.

I am falling along with every damn fool there is, I feel like I am that average joe. This needs to fucking change if I want to get somewhere in life.

I am pissed right now. Pissed beyond anything at myself. Fuck.