Down the gutter? I think not.

As posted in the previous post,... "When you are not practicing, remember, someone somewhere is practicing, and when you meet him he will win." - Ed Macauley ... I think that this quote is very important and very precise. What I mean is, it is clear as black and white. To me, I imply this to our every day life. Lets me gather my thoughts. This means that there are always 2 people who exist 'simultaneously.' These 2 people are not 'identical', what I mean is that these 2 people are perhaps in the same class. Uhhh. Scratch that.

Let's try that again. I have come onto a conclusion that if I do not work hard, I will not be within the reach of a goal that I would like to achieve. This will, inevitably, be a dissappointment because I know that I am capable of it.

I kept poundering upon the 'motivation' that my parents had, in order to succeed. But, that was not the right question I should be asking. In fact, I should not be asking a question at all, because it was their necessity. It was expected of them, from them, that they do good or they wind up 'picking up garbage after people.' What I mean, is that they had no choice because they wanted to be better then someone else, in order to survive. Basically it all gets down to the basics of biology - the survival of the fittest. My dad and my mom were fit, they worked hard. Althought, my mom worked harder then my dad because my dad is literally the smartest person I know. I could say he is a geneious. Hell, from my point of view he should receive a nobel prize in mathematics or someshit, or the ammount of work and deddication he puts into his work 24/7/365. But let's get real that shit wont happen.

Now, since I got that cleared up - I can see that my parents did not have everything that I have today. They did not have the same ammount of money I have today, they did not have to the ammount of education available for us out there. Hell, I'm not saying they were not fortunate, I am saying that they worked hard to become who they are. They wanted it, like nothing else in the world. They wanted a better life for me and my sister. Now, as I sit in front of my computer in my own room that is as big as an apartment's living room, I can see that I am fortunate. However, when I look at myself I do not see myself anywhere near satisfaction. But it's mere changes. What I do see, is that there is nothing achieved without hard work. It is a fact, if you want something you need to take it. It will not be given to you, you wont receieve it for free, if you want to be someone you need to proove that you are the right person for that position. You need to prove that you are better then the other person. ( Again - Survival of the fittest )

I am 19, I have un-realistic dreams which are attainable. What do I want from life?

I want a companion by my side, I want children, I want a house, I want to have money, I want to see the world and see the wounders of the world. I want to explore other cultures, I want to learn and I want and I want. However, that is all in the future. For now, I need to study. I need to study hard.

I need to prove to myself that I can, in fact, have a 3.50 gpa. Hell, I want to see myself do this.

I want to prove that I can, in fact, go from a 'F' (exam results) student to an A student. I want to be the guy who answers those who do not know the answer.

I want to be the guy who you meet, and I win because I work when you choose not to. I want to be superior.

The past 2, or so, weeks I've been looking for myself. I've been looking and looking and looking for an answer. What do I have to do to become successful? hard worker? I tried to search for an answer. In fact, there is no answer. You have to form your own answer. You need to be able to say you are the person you are because of the work you dedicated into becoming who you are.

I think that is all :)